I am about to start my detoxification from the opiates that I have been on for the last 9 months. The Acupuncture is a wonderful thing that is helping a lot. I have been on Dilaudid now for 2 months because of the Oxycodone shortage. The drawback to this opiate is that it only lasts about 3 hours and then I begin all of the withdrawl symptoms. Just think of a junkie on the street and that is what I begin to go through. Shakes, paranoia, anxiety,tremors, sweats etc. I now have a new medicine that helps with the withdrawls which is a blessing but it tends to affect my cordination a bit and it also chills me out quite a bit because of the anti anxiety med that I take along with it. So...... let me sum this up because it helps me by sharing what I am going through.
MEDICINES: 2 mg Dilaudid 5 times per day for pain and because my body is addicted to it.
1 mg Xanax 4 times per day for anxiety.
60 mg Cymbalta for my depression. Once per day
.1 mg Clonidine for withdrawl symptoms and to lower my blood pressure 3x daily.
50-100 mg Trazodone to get the sleep that I need. I don't have restful sleeps.
10 herb pills twice a day to help mellow me out.
WHO I AM SEEING: Brad Whisnant, certified Acupuncturist/herbalist. Provides good "JuJu"
Shelly La France who is a nurse practitioner. Medicine prescriber.
Kurt Swensen, Certified addiction specialist. Counselor for my depression,anxiety and my PTSD.
Each day for the time being I am in pain, depressed, have high anxiety, suffer paranoia, have difficulty falling or staying asleep, irritability, hyper vigilance and feeling jumpy and easily startled. I feel like I have let myself down by still being on the opiates, gaining weight and not being where I want to be physically. I stepped down today from my marathon coaching job but I will continue with the program as an assistant coach and head of the route committee. So as you can see by reading this I am not in too good of a place in my life right now. I can see that I will have some major challenges ahead of me and know that with really hard work I will be able to overcome them. I just wish that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
बल श्रद्धा आशा
Strength Faith Hope
4 comments:
I know that this is a hard time for you and I wish I could just hug you and say it will get better. Looking at everything in one neat package can be so overwhelming and defeating, so I pray you will continue taking one day at a time as well as one affliction at a time. You have put yourself in the hands of professionals and I just know you will come through this with their help, a stronger, more compassionate individual. I love you so much and just ache for you.
Love, Mom
Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!
Rusty Griswold: [Grab's Clars shoulder] Dad, you wan an Asprin?
Clark: DON'T TOUCH!
O God, ease our suffering in this, our moment of great despair. Yea, admit this kind and decent triathlete into thy arms of thine heavenly area, up there. And Moab, he lay us upon the band of the Canaanites, and yea, though the Hindus speak of karma, I implore you: give him a break. ;)
HTFU Bother! You can and will do this!
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